Hello my lovers, l really don’t know where to start from but guess l have to start from somewhere, all my life have not been lucky with men and love, it’s always from one to another,l am currently 28yrs old dating a guy am older than with a year plus, honestly he is nice and he is every woman dream but at the same time l have this feeling that l deserve better, don’t get me wrong he is cool ,when l met him he was really trying cause he was the first person l ever dated that truly cared for me, cause of how he was nice to me l had to stop seeing any other guy and focused on him alone, we’ve been together now for a year going to 2 years, l like him but l can’t say l am in love cause of how broken l was during my past relationships, fast forward to now alot has changed ,he doesn’t really give me much anymore but l always make sure l appreciate it, l don’t know if it because am too appreciative that’s why he has reduced the money he usually gives to me, currently he’s not that financially buoyant anymore which l understand but if the money should come again he will be giving me change which is not supposed to be so and it’s affecting me also, don’t get me wrong l work also , l am a fashion designer but not getting much, aside that l am the elder one in my family from 8 children,l pay their rent and also sponsor their feeding at times so you can say it’s not been easy on me, and my guy is not too strong for now, due to my past relationships lessons l really don’t want to be patient with any man cause l did it for 5 yrs with my first ex and 3 years with my second ex, yet there was nothing to show for it, so l am confused on what to do please what do you think l should do cause am currently living with my friend that is married here in Lagos and l need to look for my own space but no much money to rent, my guy even had to tell me to come stay with him since we are dating which l refused,l don’t know what to do cause l have a lot of responsibilities on my head and I don’t want to be stupid again.
I really don’t know what to do anymore, l am currently depressed.
My dear sister, first of all, let me say that you are not wrong for being careful in this relationship. Secondly, I understand you don’t feel too good about your guy’s age, because you are a bit older than him, I will tell you for free, that age does not really matter in a relationship, the most important thing is maturity, trust, loyalty and respect. If all these are not lacking in your relationship, then it is fine.
About the financial assistance, I would advice you take it easy on the guy, you said it yourself that he is not financially buoyant right now, the fact that he gives you little at all, shows he does care, you never can tell if he is saving for something important, hence his sudden prudence in spending. I would advice you to be a bit patient with him, if you really see him as someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with. Though I would never advice you to move in with him.
Lastly, do not allow your experiences in your last two relationships determine what would happen in this particular relationship. Your not having feelings for your present man even after dating him for this long, shows that you really don’t like him. I would advice you think very well and make your decision on time, to avoid both of you wasting your precious time together.