I was born out of wedlock, my mother was Muslim and my dad a Christian, after my birth my mother abandoned me with my dad because that was the only way her parents would take her back.
I stayed in the village with my grandma and my dad, at age 11 my father started having sex with me, which my grandma was aware of but did nothing to stop him, she will nurse my injury after every experience till my body adjusted fully and I no longer got bruises or injuries from the encounters, this continued for years, anytime my dad siblings offered to take me to the city he will bluntly refused, they assume it was love but only I knew what I was going through.
One Christmas my dad elder sister came to visit and stayed a week, that’s the longest we’ve entertained any one in our house, my dad couldn’t hold it anymore and came one night to have his way with me, my Aunty heard my voice and rush into the room, the next day all our family members were gather and to my surprise, this particular Aunty was the only one who didn’t know what was going on, my grandmother had already told the others. My Aunty gave my dad the option of allowing me go with her or report him to the police, after much discussion I follow my Aunty to her house.
I was 17 when I started living with my Aunty, I thought all my days of pain were gone, little did I know that this was just another phase, her husband too started abusing me sexually, and threatened to tell my Aunty that I was possessed and seducing him, he’s a pastor and I know how much my Aunty trust her husband, so I kept enduring, I’m in school now, when it’s time for holidays I get so scared of going home, I’m 23years old and whenever I go home for holidays he still has his way with me, I don’t know if to tell my aunt, I don’t want to break her heart or ruin her marriage, and I feel it’s too late to speak up now since it has been on for years.
What do you advice I do?
My dear friend, I really feel your pains and emotions, wow, you are indeed a strong woman, to go through these kind of challenges and still standing strong.
In my opinion, I feel you should find a way to record your ordeal with the monster and then report him with evidence to your aunt, then make arrangement to move out of that house afterwards. You may be surprise, that your aunt may not even believe her husband.
I feel, another option is for you to find a reason to remain on campus holidays or not, until you can figure out the best way to sort out your finances and stop relying on them for financial support.
I wish you all the best, remember you have a confidant in me here (PEACE MAKER IS MY NICK NAME HERE).
If it is possible, avoid going home and strive to live your life without them.
Hmm, you are taking a lot.
There’s a lot of wisdom in all the previous comments. Do not speak with your aunt unless you have concrete and physical evidence against her husband.
Also, try not to go home. Start a business, get a job, anything that can bring in income if your confrontation with them goes south.
God is with you. God is your strength.
A lot has gone wrong already, and you have a lot going on your mind. There’s nothing God can not do!
Your aunts husband being a “pastor” and doing this is actually demoralising. My advise to you is inline with the first person that advise you to try and have an evidence of your conversation with him (recording), then you try and Identify an elder or a representative of the Board of Elders of the Church and talk to him, present the evidence and let them find a way to broadcast it to your aunt and also talk to him.
I pray you find peace in all you do and what you went through.
I just want you to know that my doors are open for further counsel or talks if need be. Stay strong and confident.
My best!
It’s never too late to speak up, my darling, you would need to apply wisdom though. You will not be breaking her heart or her marriage by speaking up (her husband has already done that, so you shouldn’t take the blame for it), but you would need some evidence. Do you have chats or conversations with him? Is it possible to secretly record an encounter with him (even audio is fine). You would need to apply wisdom and extreme caution, but you can and should speak up.
You are a very bold and strong lady; you can and will come out of this even stronger. Just know that you’re not alone in this… Sending warm hugs to you