I saw this platform on Tiktok and decided to come here and share my story, since the platform is a place where I won’t be crucified. Cos I honestly need someone to unburden my heart to. I am a Nigerian by birth, but I live in Germany.
My best friend and I have been friends since childhood, we went to school together and do everything together until I left for Germany 15 years ago. Before I left, I was having a crush on this young man living in our area. We became close, but I never went intimate with him, until I left Nigeria.
Few months ago, my girlfriend told you she is getting married, only for me to find out she is about to marry the man I had my eyes on. I couldn’t say anything, because she was never aware of my feelings for Temisan. I came home for the wedding as I am the chief bridesmaid.
On the day of their traditional marriage, I was drunk and didn’t know how I ended up having sex with my best friend’s husband. same thing happened two days after their wedding, I came to visit, but met my bestie’s absence. according to her husband, she travelled to Onitsha to buy the goods she sells.
I was feeling so guilty that I stopped visiting her matrimonial home and blocked her husband from reaching me on phone. I changed hotel accommodation so that he does not find me before I leave the country.
Even though it has been a year since this happened, I still hate myself and feel like I am a bad friend. I know my bestie is not as financially buoyant as I am, but she has been more than a sister to me all these years. I feel so pained and stupid. what do I do? I am seriously considering telling her what happened, but I am also scared of the outcome. I don’t want to loose a sister.
Well, you said it yourself that it was a mistake.
But it might not have been the same thing on his end.
Your guilt will never leave you until you say the truth. You have to come clean to your best friend. Her husband isn’t a saint either. Confess to her, and confess to God. So that you won’t meet that kind if betrayal in front.
I pray for courage for you to do that.
Telling her means breaking up her marriage though.
First, you have to forgive yourself of what you did, according to what you said “it first happened when you were drunk….”, so it’s more of your crush who is now your besties hubby took advantage of you in that condition to make love to you. If he had stayed away it wouldn’t have happened. But since that first one happened, he will continue to look for any opportunity now to strike. And because of the crush you have on him you may not be able to resist that.
Telling your friend might cause more harm than good. You should work on yourself…..fight the feelings you have for him and the guilt you have for what you did. Make peace with God and pray it out!
He is not the only person you can have to love, until you get him out of your memory and tell yourself the truth that now he’s married and no more a free man for you, you will not appreciate other people coming to you. And you might end up messing up your relationship with your bestie, and it appears he won’t mind to continue to take advantage of any opportunity you create to try to have you, until you tell him to his face. Start with yourself, then face him boldly.
My dear, let me give you a piece of advice from my experience in things like this, do not make the mistake of telling your friend about what transpired between you and her husband, take it to your grave please. Though you can go ahead and tell her, if you wish to lose a sister as you have called her.
It is a good thing that you tried all you can to avoid the husband, please keep doing that and find yourself a man. We all make mistakes in life, don’t hurt yourself anymore, please move on and thank GOD you still have a conscience to separate good from evil.
thank you for speaking out.
What she does not know will not kill her!
Do not tell her or anybody close to her, forgive yourself and let it go. Stay away for it happened once and should not happen again.