I am writing about my family here today, because I am already exhausted and tired of everything in this marriage. I am leaving before I lost myself completely.

Please don’t judge me, I hear this a free and anonymous platform where I can find help and get good advice.

I lived in Lagos all my life, but now living in Ilorin with my husband, because he was transferred here due to his job. I married my husband 11 years ago in Lagos. We just finished our youth service and decided to settle early, because my husband wanted us to have kids early and concentrate on ourselves in the peak of our lives, when the kids must have grown up and doing well on their own. I was 25 at the time and my husband was 28 years old.

My husband’s father was a lecturer, a professor and his mother a chattered accountant. When I first heard about this, I was excited and happy that I am marrying into such family.

My late mother, was a trader in the local market at Ikponri while my dad was a taxi driver. Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of my parents because despite their uneducated status, they gave my younger brother and I the best. As we are both graduates and living a comfortable life, thanks to our parents.

Before I married my husband, his mother kicked against our union, her reason is that she does not like Kogi women, that her son must marry her friend’s daughter, since they are both from Rivers. It was very serious, but my husband assured me she will change once we are settled.

My greatest mistake was to listen to my husband and went ahead with the marriage. 6 Months after our wedding, I became pregnant to the glory of GOD, my husband and I were very happy and went home to inform his parents, the mother looked at me and told me as long as she is not in support of our union, I can’t have a child for her son. I ignored her and never said anything, until 3 months into my pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. same thing happened the next year and the year after that.

This is our 11year in this marriage, I am yet to have a child of my own, I have prayed, fasted, taken all orthodox and traditional herbs I come across, till this day, I am still childless.

My loving husband gradually turned into a stranger and now spend more time in Lagos than at home with me. 3 days ago, I found out my husband still went ahead to marry his mother’s friend daughter and she has been the one she has been visiting every other weekend and holidays in Lagos. She also has a 3yrs old son for him.

When I went to Lagos to confront my mother in-law, she told me to my face for the countless time, that has long as I am in her son’s house, I will never have a child. She even told me, that nobody, not even my late dirty mother can change it. She called me barren.

As I write this story now, I have decided to move out and leave my husband.

I am presently at home with my dad, I have discussed with him, and he has agreed to return their bride price to them by this weekend. I have been able to safe enough money over the years from my job, I am thinking of relocating to Australia and heal, start my life afresh.

I want ladies to be careful of whom they decide to marry, I honestly don’t know what came over my once loving husband, but I am grateful to GOD that I married early and had this experience at this time. I am 34 years now, even though I have wasted 11 years of my life, I really don’t know if I can bring myself to be with any man whose mother is still alive again.


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